Secret Stash #8
March 8, 2019 | Las Vegas, Nevada
originally distributed by email — adapted for this web page
Secret Stash Feature for March 2019:
BIG GUY, BIG MIRROR
Play the BIG GUY, BIG MIRROR video here (about one minute)
Complete BIG GUY, BIG MIRROR Gallery (45 images)
And now I share some thoughts and comments as your humble artist and storyteller. This was prompted by from my creation of that “big guy” character showcased here in the March 2019 Secret Stash Email. My thinking and commentary here covers the subject of masculinity.
Many years ago, I met a guy whose actual name was James Manly. I made an instant judgment that this gentleman’s surname was very accurate because his outward appearance was masculine. He seemed self-assured. He had a relaxed sense of humor based on his self-confident nature that made me want just to hang out with him. Just to talk about nothing in particular. Just to hear him laugh.
Mr. Manly had one obvious drawback that didn’t actually pertain to him, personally, but was, in fact, self-inflicted and preventable. That drawback was the woman he had chosen to be his wife. Mrs. Manly was pleasant to talk with as a person, but she was not what I considered to be a sexually attractive woman. She exceeding in one trait: She was larger than her ideal body mass index called for.
The moment I met this young couple (they were around age 25) I started thinking they were a mismatch. I felt that he certainly could do far better for himself in terms of a woman to be his wife, especially since he was Mr. Manly—that is to say, he was literally a self-assured masculine man. I think that was the first time that adjective, manly, started to be a regular focus of mine.
As I explain in some detail in the companion pdf available in this Secret Stash Email for March 2019, when I created the “big guy” character, I let him “tell me his story” rather than me as the storyteller forcing a narrative upon him. However, I did select for him as a character to have a physical presence that certainly would qualify him to be called manly. I gave him very manly glutes, for example:
When I look at real men in the physical world, yes, I do pay attention to see whether their posterior is worth staring at. I also look at them from the front, too. I study their faces to determine whether they may have show potential to exhibit some levels of emotional quotient (EQ).
I believe very strongly that when a man chooses to reveal his vulnerability, that proves him to be genuinely masculine compared to most other men who tend to mask their emotional neediness.
How a man’s face looks when he is having an orgasm helps me evaluate whether or not he deserves to be called manly. Can he show he’s comfortable releasing his juices at the exact moment when he releases all his cautions and trusts me completely? Or, does his face show he’s holding back part of himself for himself?
. . . . . . . . . .
Some women and gay males have expressed their opinions concerning what they call “toxic masculinity.” The phrase was made-up and does not have any accuracy.
A man can choose to behave in manly or masculine ways if he wants. That does not make him “toxic.” Some gay men quite clearly are choosing to behave in effeminate ways with higher-pitched voices and flamboyant arm and wrist movements. Those behaviors also are not “toxic.”
Anyone can choose to perceive of what’s “toxic” versus what’s not. For example, some people definitely consider dark chocolate to be “bad” for people’s health. Others are more reasonable and recognize scientific research shows certain health benefits can be attained from dark chocolate.
If you are someone who chooses to believe in the validity the made-up concept of “toxic masculinity” that’s fine if it works for you. Why not relax and try an alternative: Sit down quietly and calmly with a tall, cold glass of whole milk and eat a large dark chocolate candy bar.
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